Duck Duck Cougar?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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