just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
