Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
