What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
