my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You took a bar mat shot.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
