im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
