Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
