Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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