I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
