dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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