she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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