Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize