also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
