Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
