Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
