But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
