her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
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i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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