spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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