Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
