Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
