wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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