Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
