so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
