Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
