eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
