Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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