she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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