We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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