His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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