What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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