I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
