never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
