standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
