just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
