under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
