HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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