I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
