There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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