why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
