Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
try to milk me bitch
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
