Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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