Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.