you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.