Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
