dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
