my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.