Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
