i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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