I just gift wrapped bread.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
