You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
ok first of all what the fuck
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
