Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
