was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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