you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize