I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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