Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
