you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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