ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
