I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize