You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish you could order shots online.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
